Friday, May 22, 2015

be careful what you pray for

Patience is probably the one thing for myself that I most regularly pray for.  I consider my impatience to be one of my greatest flaws in how I deal with other people and it is also in large part to blame for my regular bouts of restlessness.  As someone who values efficiency, I quickly lose patience with people and systems that aren't efficient or streamlined.  When I'm dealing with old people, little kids, and people on crutches, I've got it in spades; anyone else, you're out of luck!

Last year, in the midst of my great post-ACL and post-breakup come-back, I was struck by the most painful overuse injury I've ever had: an inflamed hip-flexor.  After a few days of hobbling around, avoiding sitting, and popping double-doses of Aleve, I found myself sobbing in the office of my friend and confidante, MK, asking what I ever did to deserve this and what God must have planned for my future that is so horrible he has to test and strengthen me in this way.  This was my come-back, my victory lap and I was reduced to tears and considering dropping out of training for my first Flying Pig 1/2 marathon.  Luckily, MK and Jo-Momma talked me back from the ledge and I went to the doctor, got a steroid pack, and was back out running a week later.

borrowed from:

That was until I suffered the same issue (in the other hip) this year during Flying Pig training, just weeks before the big race.  I got another steroid pack and made it to both the starting and finish lines.  However, it's now been three weeks since the race and I haven't run since.  I'm still dealing with some residual hip issues and a new and very unwelcome knee issue.  I spent the first two weeks feeling sorry for myself as I watched all my friends run, while I handed out routes and toted water jugs around for the running group.

Working the water stop for Queen City Running Club

I've realized that maybe this is how God is trying to teach me patience.  Healing takes time.  It takes time for our hearts and our bodies to heal, and they both need that time of rest and extra TLC to get back to full strength.  So this is triple practice: patience with my body, with myself and with those around me.  I need to send good vibes to my body so that it will heal adequately and I have to be kind to myself when I really want a large ice cream or 1/2 a bag of Doritos or 2 brownies in one sitting, even though I haven't had an adequate workout in days.  All of my will-power is being poured into the exercises, stretching and icing that I need to do for rehab, so I have none left to resist all the leftover Easter candy that I've demolished this week without a shred of guilt or remorse.  In that is true patience; I know I'm losing fitness and gaining a few pounds, but it's okay. 

God is funny like that, he always gives us what we ask for, just not always how we hope it will come!  Patience is truly a virtue.